Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Maggie May
"Wake up Maggie, I think I got something to say to you
It's late September and I really should be back at school
I know I keep you amused but I feel I'm being used
Oh Maggie, I couldn't have tried any more
You led me away from home just to save you from being alone
You stole my heart and that's what really hurt
The morning sun when it's in your face really shows your age
But that don't worry me none, in my eyes you're everything
I laughed at all of your jokes, my love you didn't need to coax
Oh Maggie, I couldn't have tried any more
You led me away from home, just to save you from being alone
You stole my soul and that's a pain I can do without
All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand
But you turned into a lover and mother,
what a lover, you wore me out
All you did was wreck my bed
And in the morning kick me in the head
Oh Maggie, I couldn't have tried any more
You led me away from home, cause you didn't want to be alone
You stole my heart, I couldn't leave you if I tried
I suppose I could collect my books and get on back to school
Or steal my daddy's cue and make a living out of playing pool
Or find myself a rock and roll band that needs a helping hand
Oh Maggie, I wish I'd never seen your face
You made a first-class fool out of me
But I'm as blind as a fool can be
You stole my heart but I love you anyway
Maggie, I wish I'd never seen your face
I'll get on back home one of these days"
-- Rod Stewart
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5 comments:
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How fitting that a song about a guy with a sex addiction to a nymphomaniac should be posted here.
People are being abducted by the Coalition! (Wait! I know what you're
thinking... Just because you haven’t seen a Coalition cross-burning doesn’t they don’t happen. Have you ever seen a million dollars? Doesn't mean it doesn't exist).
Based on personal experience, I know everyone of these abductions could have been prevented if only people would wear my time-tested "Thought Screen Helmet" invention.
How do I know? Well, several years ago I personally fabricated one of these helmets and presented it to a woman as a gift at her retirement party from the City of Richardson and as far as I know she has not been abducted by any Coalition members. (And believe me, this space cadet of a woman is a prime candidate for a Coalition abduction). Proof positive of the effectiveness of these helmets!
Recently a woman living with her two children on a back street in the Reservation neighborhood claimed to have been abducted. Coincidently, her story matched the stories of abductions neighboring far West side residents began telling while eagerly waving and making faces at the camera during the "live 10:00pm newscast".
The woman who lives in the Reservation, who understandably wishes to remain anonymous, now sleeps with the helmet on every night and sometimes even wears it during the day. When asked about the helmet’s effectiveness she says, “Well, I ain’t got took up by no aliens since I started wearing this here helmet”.
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Item Description:
The "Thought Screen Helmet" blocks telepathic communication between Coalition members and voters. Coalition members cannot immobilize people wearing the “Thought Screen Helmet” nor can they control their minds or communicate with them using their telepathy. When the Coalition can't communicate or control voters, they are not taken into their membership.
The "Thought Screen Helmet" has effectively stopped several Coalition members from abducting or controlling voters. Thus far, only two failures have been reported since 1998.
Adults and children all over Richardson are wearing the “Thought Screen Helmet” to stop Coalition abductions. Many who had once been abducted and who are now religiously wearing their 'Thought Screen Helmet' haven't reported an abduction since 1999.
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If owning a "Thought-Screen Helmet" interests you then we strongly encourage you to contact us and place an order for several because chances are great your kind of friends will want one too.
We will soon be listing these on eBay. You may purchase as many as you like. "The sky's the limit!"
I'm going to start a blog and call it "Where in the World Is Ed Cognoski?"
This is getting old.
And I figured OBVIOUSLY the only reason you're not coming back is because no one has written you a song yet begging you to. (you're so dramatic) So here, I wrote this for you and produced the music video as well, all by myself...in your honor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uADgHFntj4I
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