Veepstakes

Who it ought to be: Clinton for Obama, Rice for McCain.

Who it won't be...

The first rule of picking a running mate is "do no harm" to the ticket. So, pick the candidates for vice president by a process of elimination. Here are the leading possibilities, along with the most important reasons they will NOT be chosen:

• Ted Strickland: his own Shermanesque withdrawal
• Jim Webb: sexist; Confederate sympathizer; withdrew
• Mark Warner: picking him sacrifices a Senate seat pickup; withdrew
• John Edwards: preening loser; adulterer; liar
• Sam Nunn: 70; conservative; Georgia
• Mike Bloomberg: independent elitist
• Chuck Hagel: RINO
• Wesley Clark: shopworn; lousy campaigner
• Tom Daschle: South Dakota; weak
• Janet Napolitano: Who? Arizona
• Brian Schwietzer: Who? Montana
• Al Gore: Only James Carville thinks this could work
• Sherrod Brown: no one's talking about his at all
• Ed Rendell: too independent of Obama, too close to Clinton
• Kathleen Sibelius: Who? Kansas; bland; no national security experience
• Bill Richardson: boring loser; gaffe-prone; would alienate Clintons
• Jack Reed: Who? Nobody is talking about him. Must be a reason.
• Chris Dodd: unknown loser
• Joe Biden: verbose loser
• Tim Kaine: opposed to abortion; no national security experience
• Hillary Clinton: divisive; old-politics; Bill

The following possibilities are still looking for a reason to be excluded from consideration: Evan Bayh. Apparently, dull is not reason enough for disqualification this year.

For the Republicans:

• Fred Thompson: another grumpy old white guy
• Rick Perry: everything except his hair
• Mark Sanford: rock-solid GOP South Carolina
• Tom Ridge: pro-choice
• Haley Barbour: Mississippi; Washington insider
• Charlie Crist: Florida skeletons
• Rob Portman: Bush, Bush, Bush
• Mike Huckabee: taxes; immigration; Arkansas skeletons
• Bobby Jindal: an unknown young guy
• Condoleezza Rice: pro-choice; service to Bush
• Kay Bailey Hutchison: pro-choice; Texas; Washington insider
• Sarah Palin: Who? Alaska
• Mitt Romney: religion; flip-flops; hair
• Joe Lieberman: Democrat; Democrat; Democrat

The following possibilities are still looking for a reason to be excluded from consideration: Tim Pawlenty, John Thune, Meg Whitman, Carly Fiorina. Not much to choose from. Whitman or Fiorina would cast McCain as a real gambler. Thune would shore up his base. Pawlenty? Can he deliver Minnesota?